Anxiety had been tossing me around, kicking me and taking my strength. I was trying to catch my breath in my window seat. Headed north toward home with a tailwind. The sun was setting beautifully. Radiohead in my earbuds. Cleansing breaths. Ah.
The plane was in 'some choppy air', rising and falling with the wind. Some of the drops were a little more abrupt than I would like in this state of mind. A big one made my stomach jump. I felt myself clenching the armrest. "Relax, ride along with it," I thought.
I closed my eyes and meditated on that. "Ride along with it." Another big drop. That was kind of pleasant. So much easier when I unclench and ride along with the bumps. Another one...nice. I slowly doze off into a light sleep. Sweet.
Another bump. My id felt that one. Hands grip the armrest. I'm jerked awake. Fucking subconscious fears. Why must you seize control?
2 comments:
Try to go back to the "ride with it" feeling b/c we know that life is goin' to be bumpy!
I need to learn to "ride with it" but unfortunately my own subconscious fears always get me in the end....
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