Modern Babbitt (apologies to Sinclair Lewis)

*** 1 ***

George Babbitt is slim and healthy. He lives in Northboro, a suburb of Zenith. George loves his wife and kids. Misses Babbitt (Lisa) takes care of their lovely 10-year-old Cape Cod style home and takes great pride in the upholstery, cabinetry and accessories contained therein. Ashley Babbitt is the first born and is now 13. George takes pride in Ashley's mediocre grades, her participation is a few extracurricular activities and her virginity. Tyler Babbitt is 10. George likes to play Gamecube with Tyler and finds it amusing when Tyler beats him.

Every weekday morning George kisses Lisa and the kids goodbye, takes his coffee mug into his trusty SUV, and drives 70 miles to the office park where he earns the money that keeps the Babbitt household comfortable. He uses the 90 minutes of time to burn too much gasoline, receive some information on the radio, conduct a little business on his Blackberry, and think of the lines he will use when he communicates with his fellow corporate tools. To George, the drive time is like Superman's phone booth. He uses it to change from the family-guy George that he loves into the Babbitt that pays the bills: George Babbitt, Vice President of Initiatives, Beacon Street Corp. or VPofI, BSCorp.

Babbitt is a tool for a minimum of 8 hours per weekday. He allows himself to say words that others have fashioned for his use. He laughs loudly at the jokes of his comrades despite the fact that he often does not think they are funny. But mostly, he spends his energy trying to please and impress his fellow Vice Presidents and all those with titles larger than his own.

Today Babbitt has an upleasant task ahead of him. Within the comfy confines of his SUV, he ignores the Blackberry and has silenced the radio. He is writing a mental script for how this task should be completed. John Mouse has been slated for a layoff. Babbitt's direct boss (Trooper Smalley) has given Babbitt the task of executing the layoff. As a corporate tool, Babbitt has been laid off 3 times in the last ten years. He thinks of that knot he felt in his own stomach when he faced the fear of failing to put enough bread on the Babbitt family table.

Mouse is a stranger to Babbitt, having just fallen into Babbitt's team of tools because of the latest in a long list of organizational reshufflings. The anonymity of the relationship causes Babbitt to see himself in Mouse. He doesn't want to inflict emotional pain on John Mouse, but he needs to please Trooper Smalley in order to fulfill his role as Coporate Tool and provider of bread to the Babbitt table.

"Trooper" Smalley is really Tom Smalley, known as "Trooper" because his physical appearance and demeanor are that of a state policeman. Smalley is tall, broad shouldered and short of hair. He is always serious and rarely shows any emotion. Weaker tools find his assured, flat emotional presence intimidating. Though often wrong and misinformed, he is always confident.

Trooper Smalley had told Babbitt about Mouse. At least, he told him all that he 'needs to know'. Mouse is a long-time worker, who performs a service that Smalley wishes to make obsolete. Smalley made this judgement based on hearsay and assumed similarities between this situation and others he has known. Although Smalley preferred to keep Mouse completely in the dark about his fate, he would allow Babbitt to handle the firing with some of his own discretion.

Babbitt prefers to let Mouse in on the layoff as soon as the decision is made. Babbitt remembered what it felt like to get pushed out without the common respect of being aware of the booting. He wanted to make Mouse's dismissal better than his own. His stomach tightened as he pulled into the Beacon Street Corp (BSCorp) parking lot.

*** 2 ***
"Good moring John."
"Hi George"
"Do you have a few minutes to talk about some things?"
"Sure."
"Please come into my office and shut the door."
Babbitt's stomach tightened again. He thought he may hurl. The muscles around his mouth tightened, and he heard himself speaking in the pinched voice that he used when he was afraid.
"John, Management has decided to end your position."
"OK. I'm not surprised."
"As you know, we have been discussing the end-state we wish to have in place when the current integration-initiative is complete. I wanted to give you a heads-up about what is going to happen next. Since you are a longstanding employee in good standing, we want you to have every chance to find another position in BSCorp. We currently anticipate your role-completion-date to be six months from now."
"What is a role-completion-date?"
"The date your position will end."
"Do you mean termination of my employment?"
"Yes. Of course, there will be a severance package for you and we will meet with our HR Rep Linda Babus to discuss that shortly."
"I do appreciate the heads-up, George. The more notice the better. Three months ago, you said you would let me know when I could hit clients up for a job. Any update?"
"Yes. I'm still working on that."
"George, the first place I will go to find a new job is my clients. I've worked with some of them for 15 years."
"I understand that. Trooper Smalley and I plan to circle-back on that in the next few days."
"So, what's the deal with severance?"
"Let's go to Linda's office to discuss the specifics."
"Cool."
Babbitt led Mouse down the hall to the identical office of Linda Babus, HRRep, BSCorp. Introductions were made, Babbitt sat down, gripped his chair with undu force, and summarized the previous conversation for Linda.
Linda asked, "Any questions Frank?"
"My name is John, John Mouse."
"Sorry, these cases do tend to run together. Any questions John?"
"How much is the severance, and when will I get it?"
"Ten months salary. On your role-completion-date you will be removed from payroll and switched over to severance."
Mouse's eyes lit up. "I'll get paid for 10 months at the same rate that I am now?"
"That's right."
"And what do I have to do between now and then, six months according to George (Babbitt nodded), to get the severance?"
"Well, two things: Don't resign, and stay on good terms with Management," Linda recited.
Mouse's eyes lit up again, he smiled and looked toward Babbitt.
Babbitt piped up, "Primarily, we want you to find a job within BSCorp. I might also ask you to work on some client service integration and transition issues. We can talk about that later."
Linda was looking at her computer monitor, clearly bored with the discussion.
"Any other questions John?" Linda asked flatly.
"I don't see anything in writing here, how firm is this?"
Babbitt looked to Linda. As they had discussed this part previously, Babbitt want to speak up. Linda beat him to the air.
"At this point, the notification of role-completion-date is informal. You will receive written notification 60 days prior to role-completion-date."
Babbitt interjected, "We wanted to give you ample opportunity to find a positon within BSCorp because of your many years of good service to the Company."
"I appreciate that, George. What happens to this agreement if I find employment within the Company?"
"If your redeployment happens before your role-completion-date, things would stay the same. If you redeployment occurs after role-completion-date, you would go off of severance and back on the payroll."
"What is redployment?" asked Mouse.
"Finding a new position in the Company. I do tend to get bogged down in HRspeak sometimes. Sorry."
"Better you than me," snarked Mouse. "So, let me make sure I've got this straight. If I find another job within the Company, nothing changes in my pay. If I find a job outside of the Company, I still receive severance AND the pay from my new employer."
"That's right," chimed Linda.
"But we want you to take this opportunity to find a position within the Company", recited Babbitt. Trooper Smalley and Linda had drilled him on emphasizing this point.
John Mouse was silent. He look confused and amused. He shook is head.
"I've heard about people getting escorted from the building by Security when they receive their notice. Is anything like that going to happen here?"
Babbitt and Linda both tried to speak. As they were in Linda's office, she received the floor. "Management does that when they anticipate negative reactions from terminated resources. They do not anticipate that in this case."
Mouse smirked. "That's good. You won't have any problems with me. I'm not surprised by any of this, and I want it to go well. I appreciate your forthrightness. As I told George, my number one issue is contacting clients for possible employment."
"Yes, Trooper Smalley and I intend to get back to you on that shortly", Babbitt stammered.
"Can I process this and come back with some more questions?" asked Mouse.
Both Babbitt and Linda assented. Babbitt exhaled in relief. The dirty deed was done.