Expect This

The tree should be green, full of decorations and surrounded by presents
The ham should be salty and fatty, and not taste like pheasant
The little ones should believe in Santa, the older ones should keep the lie alive
The family should share concrete expressions of love and not jive
Just enough snow on the ground, enough chill in the air
Even the Airing of Grievances should be fair

The booze should be smooth and the drunks should be joyful
People should all know the gift of Christ or shut their pie hole
All jokes should be funny, all the laughs sincere
Even though the comedian told the same ones last year
Moms should love unconditionally and live forever
Fathers should respect, support and never die

When expectations aren't met, there's hell to pay
We crash and burn against each other, and against our own thoughts
We piss each other off and cry in our beer
What we really want is for reality to match our expectations
But it doesn't. Never.
Reality has its own plan, and it doesn't include our expectations